“Incredible. There’s Smith and he’s standing there and he’s got the iceberg warning in his hand, and he’s ordering more speed. Twenty-six years of experience working against him.”

You know that scene in Titanic? Well, that perfectly describes my attitude (and hubris) toward injury. You see, I’ve been injured. A lot. A LOT. So, when I take a spill on a run, my instinct is to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going. Generally, tweaks and twinges aren’t a big deal, and you shouldn’t let them get in your way.

So there I am, half a mile into a run on a beautiful afternoon, when out of nowhere, I miss the curb and fall on my face. I dust myself off, wash the pavement out of my hands, shake out my ankle and figure I might as well keep running. So I do. I run over not one, not two, but three bridges, when I realize that things ain’t cool. My ankle HURTS.

So there I am, three miles away from my office, with a bum ankle. I finish walking over the bridge because it’s a beautiful day, and stop and do push-ups and sit-ups, because I figure I might as well get something out of this run, because clearly, I’m not going to do it running.

Well, the stopping was my worst mistake. My ankle swells up to the size of a Buick, and I have a long-ass way to painfully hobble. It was bad. Real bad. I wanted to cry, but figured it wouldn’t get me back any faster.

In my mind, I’m thinking, “No big deal, just two or three miles to get back to the office. It’ll be nice!” Now, we all know that runners have a funny way of rethinking distances. Well, if there’s anything that puts distance back into perspective, it’s being forced to walk any distance at a slow limp.

No bueno.

So anyway, that sucked. And now my damn ankle is ANGRY. All because I’m an idiot trying to be a hard ass and keep running.

So learn from my mistake. If you fall on a run, by all means, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. If you’d like to keep running, good for you! Go for it. But stay within a reasonable distance of your endpoint to allow your body the time it needs to really assess the carnage.

Kay, Imma need some more wine now. –Aidz

When I’m running with someone, I can have deep, meaningful conversations. In fact, some of the best, most revealing conversations of my life have happened on the run.

However, if I happen upon someone while I’m running, my brain turns into a worthless pile of goo. I stammer and struggle for intelligible words, sweating awkwardly and trying to make small talk.

What gives? What happens to my brain when I run into someone on the run?

It’s like the minute I stop running to talk to someone, my brain stops functioning. I’m not really sure what the answer to this problem is, either. So anyway, if you see me out running, say hi, and I’m a little, uh, slow, please excuse me. I’ll be all eloquent and stuff later. –Aidz

Summer is here! — Mags

Tela here — new to the running world, really new to the Bad Angels Running Club, but an old person. Just celebrated my a-hem-thirty-something-mumble-maybe-late-30s-ahem birthday.

I started running back in late January, I think. (I’m old, remember? My memories don’t work so good.) Anyway, after years of HATING running, I decided I’d like to become a runner. (And I do mean hating. In high school, we had to run approximately ½ to ¾ a mile before every basketball practice and do it under 5 minutes. I came in last every.single.practice for four years. RIGHT under 5 minutes as so not to make my team run extra. On purpose and in protest. I really hated running.)

But also, I wasn’t GOOD at it. It was hard for me. So I avoided it. But weird things happen as you age. You realize change is good. When you change, you grow. And instead of avoiding the hard things in your life, you confront them head-on because you know even if it doesn’t end well, at least you’ve learned something.

So, I found some Couch to 5K plans and started on my journey. And something interesting happened along the way. I discovered I didn’t hate running. Was it because it was no longer forced upon me? Because that runner’s high is actually real? Because I finally got a good 30 minutes of “me time” a day? Whatever the reason, I began looking forward to my runs and trying to figure out how I could maximize my time at work/home/life to squeeze in a run here and there.

My persistence paid off — I completed my first 5K in May, and I’m still running. Rest assured, I’m still not good.

But I AM learning — how to tackle the things I once feared; how to de-stress positively; how to get some much-needed “me time”; how to be a better parent; how if, just because I’m not the best (or even as good as my friends) at something, it doesn’t mean I need to give up; that I sweat a LOT; that I have muscles, sometimes they hurt, and that’s a good feeling; that my dog loves to run; that I like talking to people about something other than my kid; and much, much more.

If you are thinking about picking up those running shoes and giving it a try, please do. If I can do it, anyone can. I know, I know, everyone says that. But they say it because it’s TRUE.

If you need some motivation to get started, here are some of the C25K programs I used:

Running Into Shape

Chubby Jones

Now get out there.

Months ago, I signed up for the Allstate 13.1 Chicago. It was one of the few half marathons in the city I hadn’t run, the medal was sa-weet and it was a June race, so I’d have plenty of time to train in nice weather, right?

Then a few things happened along the way to the starting line to sabotage my performance.

The only decent photo from the race. (To quote Adrea: “You look drunk … day drunk” in most of the pics.)

My training was mediocre. Life happened. I got swamped at work and with my extracurriculars. So I started cutting out some of my shorter maintenance runs. I knew what that would do. I knew it would affect me on race day. But shit happens. At least I had several weeks to mentally prepare for my time to be nowhere in the realm of a PR and really, truly, honestly, I was OK with that.

I gained weight. Fewer runs and busier life equaled added pounds. That’s rarely a good thing.

No rest and no sleep. Let’s look at the 36 hours preceding my Saturday morning race: I woke up at 4:30 a.m. Friday to be to work at 6 a.m. (It’s not my usual start time, but something unexpected came up and I found myself at a union rally in the suburbs at dawn.) I worked until 5 p.m., came home, walked the dog, ate dinner, etc. I laid down for a nap at 8:30 p.m., woke up at 10:30 p.m. and got ready to go to a show. You see, my Beastie Boys tribute got offered a late-night gig at a big-deal festival, and we just couldn’t turn it down. (Of course, at the time, they also told us it would just be a couple songs at 11 p.m. and then it got pushed to a 45-minute set at 12:30 a.m. But that’s neither here nor there.). So I rapped and sweated and danced my ass off for close to an hour, and then scooted outta there. I got home at 1:30 a.m. and slept for 90 minutes before my alarm went off at 3:35 a.m. I did my pre-race prep, picked up my friend Heather and headed downtown to catch a 5 a.m. shuttle down to the 7 a.m. race on the South Side. Whew. Just typing that out was exhausting, so you can imagine how my body felt.

My internal clock was effed. The strange sleeping schedule made me feel jet-lagged. And my, ahem, morning ritual was completely thrown off. I had a baaaad feeling about that. You see, one of my biggest fears on the racecourse is pooping my pants. Seriously. I’ve had a couple close calls during training runs, but race day has never been an issue. “You’re jinxing yourself!” Heather said as I relayed this to her on the drive down. All told, I went to the bathroom FIVE TIMES between 4 a.m. and 9 a.m., including once right before the race, once during the race (not in my pants, thankfully) and once immediately after the race. This also marked my first ever mid-race bathroom stop of any kind. Sort of incredible, actually, when you consider I’ve run eight half marathons, three marathons and 36 races total. I was surprisingly fast and efficient — no line! — so I only lost about 90 seconds off my time. Totally worth it.

Negative self talk took over. Even during my three marathons, when I was in an immense amount of pain, I never said to myself, “I HATE this.” I said that many, many times on Saturday. The juxtaposition of my misery and the gorgeous weather/scenic course was laughable. Look around, Maggie! It’s beautiful! I tried to tell myself. And then I’d think about all those runs I’d missed and sleep I didn’t get and those 5 lbs I’d gained and want to cry. I did cry, actually. Pathetic.

The little 13.1 thinger spins around! It’s radcakes.

Throw all those things together and it’s no surprise that every mile hurt, physically and mentally. (The proof is in the race photos, y’all. Horrifying.) I’ve also NEVER been so sore after a half marathon. Sweet Jesus. But, all things considered, my 1:55 finish was a minor miracle, and I’m damn proud of it.

(Side note: My miserable run is absolutely not reflective of the event itself. They put on a helluva race! Lovely course, great volunteers, tons of well-run aid stations, fun post-race party, solid shirts, rad-ass medal. I would most definitely do this race again — and likely will.)

But hey, live and learn, right? Marathon training officially began this week. Time to kiss those five pounds goodbye, recommit to my plan and set my internal clock straight. — Mags

So what about sleep? I’ve often wondered (generally, when I’m tossing and turning the night before a race) how much sleep affects athletic performance. Generally, it’s not an issue. I was once told that it’s the sleep you get two nights before a race that really matters anyway. Now, I’m not sure if that’s true, but it certainly helps me stress less when I can’t get quality shut-eye because of nerves.

But now, my lack of sleep has become a nagging constant in my life. With two small children, I’m up at least twice (usually it’s more like three or four times) every single night. And I have to wake up even earlier to get the entire gaggle out the door before work. So, I’m operating on a LOT less sleep than I’d like. And I’m a girl who ENJOYS HER SLEEP. Really, really.

So lately, I’ve been running on empty — and somehow, it’s working. It sounds counter-intuitive, but when I’m really dragging, going for a run gives me energy. And it’s even more effective than caffeine. In fact, my mid-day runs during office hours might be the only thing keeping me from passing out on my desk entirely.

That said, I have noticed that my pace (and the subsequent effort required for said pace) is greatly affected by the amount of sleep I get. While I never feel sleepy while I’m running, I can definitely feel the drag from a lack of Z’s.

So what can you get out of this crazy little no-sleep experiment that I’m doing? Well, there are a couple of things:

1. Feeling tired and sluggish? Go for a run. I guarantee you’ll feel rejuvenated afterward. It’s as though running actually produces energy out of thin air. I swear, it’s magical.

2. Frustrated with your pace? Take a look beyond your diet and training, and make sure you are nourishing your body in other ways — like sleep.

3. Can’t sleep before a race? Don’t sweat it. As long as you’ve been taking care of yourself in the days leading up to the big event, you’re going to be just fine.

Now, go get some shut eye, Angels. — Aidz

I’ve long said that clapping in songs is magical. Looks like Patton Oswalt and The Coup agree. — Mags

1. Got to Be Real — Cheryl Lynn
2. American Boy  — Estelle feat. Kanye West
3. Need You Tonight — INXS
4. Give Life Back To Music — Daft Punk
5. Honey — Moby
6. Crimewaves — Matthew Dear
7. Nursery Rhyme — Bad Veins
8. Did Not the Lights Go Out for You? — Shadow Shadow Shade
9. What Gets You Alone — Divine Fits
10. Stop — Jane’s Addiction
11. Now — Mates Of State
12. Too Fake — Hockey
13. If Raymond Carver Was Born In the 90′s – Library Voices
14. What a Fool Believes – The Doobie Brothers
15. And Then The Girls – Donora
16. Pump Up The Volume – M/A/R/R/S
17. Take a Walk – Passion Pit
18. Cruel — St. Vincent
19. Out of My League – Fitz & The Tantrums
20. You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb – Spoon
21. Breadcrumb Trail – Buried Beds
22. Spin — Wildlife Control
23. Electric Avenue  – Eddie Grant
24. Default – Django Django
25. Putting Shame In Your Game – Beastie Boys
26. You – Atmosphere
27. All I Ask of You — Skrillex feat. Penny
28. Till the World Ends – Britney Spears
29. Tell ‘Em – Sleigh Bells
30. Go – Santigold feat. Karen O
31. Howlin’ For You — The Black Keys
32. Call It What You Want — Foster the People
33. Here’s A Little Something For Ya — Beastie Boys
34. Party Rock Anthem — LMFAO

Here are some theories about why I’m doing this to myself:

• I am annoyed with my comfortable pace; it’s slower than it used to be (pre-babies).
• It’s hard to fit in a run lately, due to my husband’s busy schedule, so I want to maximize my time.
• My runs and pace are posted to social media (oh the pressure!).
• I wore a bikini to the pool (enough said here).
• I’m angry about something.

It’s probably a combination of all of the above, but I need to lock it up. My strategies include:

• Putting a plan on paper to force specific types of runs on different days; this will allow for recovery (easy running!) and speed work.
• Stop sharing my runs on social media. I don’t think anyone even looks at them anyway.
• Wear a one-piece bathing suit for a few more weeks.
• Add some weight training to compliment my running and get bikini-ready faster.
• Address some of my annoyances.

I’m looking forward to a more balanced running life, but the first step in this process was to recognize my behavior. I love a challenging run, to feel fast and strong, but there are ways to get there without punishing oneself every step of the way. – Amie

Does this scenario sound familiar?: You didn’t go to class all semester, and now you are staring down the final exam. So you cram the night or week before because all you want to do is pass the damn thing. You know you won’t ace it. You just need to survive and move on … and then collapse in a heap of exhaustion after the all-nighter study session(s).

Races are the same way.

So you haven’t been training properly or consistently, then all the sudden, your 5K/10K/half marathon is two weeks away. Your first instinct might be to cram in as many runs and as many miles as possible. BUT DON’T DO IT.

You’re already not in the best shape and taxing your body like that in the days preceding a race is only gonna make it worse. Instead, concentrate on getting in a few quality short and mid-length runs to build back some endurance and get your legs moving again.

Come race day, make no mistake, it’s gonna hurt. Much like your final exam, you aren’t going to ace this race, but you can and you will cross that finish line. And the next day, it’s gonna hurt even more.

And that’s what you get when you don’t study, er, train properly. Live and learn, right? — Mags